A while back I wrote a full Up and Coming Cosplayer feature on Gumiho Hannya, an erocosplayer. In the process, I think we have developed an internet acquaintance, so I asked her if she would like to write for the site. She expressed concern at having time to do so, which is no surprise as she has constant shooting, costuming, and Patreon obligations for her international following. She did, however ask me that if she somehow could write one article for All Cool Things™, what would it be about. I immediately suggested, “How to Hit on Cosplayers without Being a Fuckboi,” and she said that she liked it…Imagine my surprised when a couple of weeks later she said she wrote the article!
Now, Gumi is not staff, and does not have an account here, but she did write the article below, not me, HERETICPRIME. I just uploaded it, added some pictures, and minimally edited it, and by that I mean that I changed a “TM” to “™.” All spelling, grammar, and sentence structure, I left as is, because I think that she is just so darn cute, and I that it’s a part of her charm…even the weird half upside quotation marks that her word processor uses.
Well, enough of me. I’m sure you want to learn how one of the sexiest, nicest, most fanservicing erocosplayers personally tells YOU how to let a cosplayer know that you like her. (Oh, if there are any male cosplayers that would like to make one for the ladies, <Yeah, like they need it!> please contact us! We’d love to publish it!)
So I was asked to write about the topic, and I quote „What’s the best way to hit on a cosplayer at the con, and not be a total fuckboi?“ and I thought the topic was interesting to write about, so here we gooo:
As in all situations where you might think „hey this person there seems interesting, I wanna try my luck“ you need to consider the following: 1. Does the context of the situation allow flirting? 2. Does the person wants to be flirted with. 3. Would I want to be hit on by myself? I’m gonna ellaborate these, don’t worry. And if I sound like I’m about to write an essay for school, yeah that’s pretty much the last time I wrote, but I promise I’ll try to make it less dull.
So, if you’re at a convention (yes those things that existed ages ago and in my dreams they will exist again one day IRL), the chance that a cosplayer wants to be flirted with, is already pretty low. They are not zero and in some cases you might even meet your player number 2 but they are low. Why?
Well for instance, most cosplayers don’t want to be crushed on based on their cosplay. Let’s say, you’re cosplaying Tifa and there’s this really cute guy who hits on you at a convention. Is he hitting on you cause he dreams of having the snu snu with his childhood waifu (most cosplayers do NOT want to fulfill you that fantasy) or does he actually want to talk to YOU, the real person? Hard to tell.
And also, let me tell you right now, if your plan actually includes having the snu snu with your childhood/anime crush waifu, drop it right now. Unless you’re in a longterm relationship with a cosplayer who does cosplay porn, there’s no way any cosplayer would have sex in their expensive cosplay and potentially ruin it.
But as mentioned earlier, the chances AREN’T zero. Especially if you’re actually looking for something long term. I mean, the overall context is probably even in your favor. If you’re both at a convention, the chances that you have at least one anime in common you can talk about, is high. Or that you’re both into the same game or movie show.
So, you actually talked to that cute girl over there sipping on some bubble tea. Now let’s talk about consent and genuine interest.
Is she smiling when talking to you, touching her hair, asking you questions back, moving a little closer?
→ You can continue talking to her. She might also just be nice though. Don’t get angry when you confused basic politeness with flirting please.
Is she answering in very short sentences, or even moving a bit back from you?
→ Respect that she’s not into you, say goodbye politely and move on. She might already be seeing someone, or she doesn’t want to date anyone right now or is simply not interested. All of these possibilities are very much real and you can be the most friendly and handsome dude there is, and there’s still gonna be girls out there who just aren’t into you, same as there’s always gonna be guys who don’t like Megan Fox. (idk if that’s true actually but you get my point) And that’s okay.
What do most people like? Talking about themselves. Yes, there I said it. Asking people questions is a great way of both showing your (hopefully genuine) interest and giving you sympathy points. Avoid talking a lot about yourself or giving unsolicied advice. Also, if you find out you’re both playing the same video game, don’t offer to boost her, it’s lowkey insulting. Instead ask if you can play together sometime.
There, you made a human connection. It’s up to your evolving interpersonal relationship how things will develop. The most vital advice I can give is: Don’t be a nice guy™. What’s a nice guy™? A guy who thinks „being nice“ is a personality trait and that being a „good friend“ (aka only being „friends“ with someone cause you’re hoping to get some) should be rewarded with snu snu and in the end, often turns out to be the opposite of nice when facing a rejection. Being rejected is part of life, happens to everyone.
Remember how I said at the start you should ask yourself if you’d want to be hit on by yourself? Yeah, I meant that. It goes for both looks and personality. See something in the mirror you don’t like? Everyone can look decent with a little effort. Get a haircut, a nicely trimmed beard or clean shave, skin care, buy a gym membership and some good clothes. Learn to like yourself, and you will radiate confidence. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Confidence is sexy. Just don’t be an arrogant douchebag.
Do you have more than one hobby? Stuff you can talk about? Ambitions? Ambitions are crazy hot to have, and this is not a joke, repeat, not a joke. Something you’re passionate about, that you’re working and aiming for in life. And obviously, don’t be an asshole. Practice speaking loud and clearly. Yes, works wonders.
Okay and there’s one more thing and I’ll shut up I swear: Every person is DIFFERENT. Yes, there is no definite guide to talking to women/cosplayers whatever. Sure, some things, like, don’t be an asshole are good general rules, but in reality, there is no magic key that will make every person fall in love with you or even make them like you. If that were the case, everyone would know about it already. You gotta get out there and treat everyone slightly different based on what you find out/recognize about them.
Okay, actually, I take that back, don’t go out there RIGHT NOW. You know, stay inside, stay safe, stay sane if possible and let’s pray conventions will happen at some point in our lives again, preferably before I turn fifty, hope this essay/text/guide??/thingie??? was helpful or at least somewhat entertaining to read,
PS: English isn’t my native language so if you find any grammar errors or typos…s-sorry?
Keep them b-baka!
PPS: I am not in any way AT ALL trying to say that my opinion is perfect or „right“, other people might disagree with what I have to say and that’s okay, take it all with a grain of salt please.